Joe Sanford's Eulogy
by Mary Pat (Leary) Arkin
June 22, 2002

Good Morning. Some of you know me as Mary Pat, but today I am here as Joe's Aunt Pat Pat. This day is filled with many different and difficult feelings, but the first thing I'd like to express is gratitude. Betsy, Russ, Mary, Ryan, and Joe and the entire family would like to thank Fr. Kalita and all of our beloved priests here today for celebrating in this Mass for Joe. We would like to extend a special "thank you" to Fr. Kalita for "sheparding our flock during this difficult time" and for his words of comfort today and over the last several months.

We would also like to say thank you to each and every one of you here today, and the many others who could not be here, for your overwhelming acts of kindness, generosity, and love to Joe and our entire family during Joe's illness. Every act, large and small, made a difference. Giving a simple smile, a hug, lending an ear for listening or a shoulder to cry on was more help than you can imagine. Most importantly, we thank you for your prayers. Your prayers, throughout his illness, provided Joe and all of us with the comfort of Our loving Lord.

Joseph Patrick Sanford's life began on Monday, May 11, 1992 moments after his beautiful twin sister Mary Theresa was born. He was named after his great grandfathers, Joseph McNamara and Patrick Leary. Mary weighed in at 7 plus pounds and Joe at less than 5. We didn't know then what a powerful life God had begun with this tiny little buddy we called, Joe.

Joe's early years were filled with the things all little boys love, playing video games, sports, and spending time with siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends. Joe never lacked for the company of people who loved him. He was also quite a little baseball player. "Excellent hand eye coordination" his uncle's all would say. And in our family, you can be sure they said it with pride.

And Joe loved to read and to be read to. He read all four of the Harry Potter books with delight. He also looked forward to each evening when he would sit down and read all the messages sent from his family and friends to his web site.

In September 1999, Joe was diagnosed with childhood brain cancer. Thus began his long journey of faith and courage. He was 7 years old.

Instead of beginning second grade with his sister and his friends, Joe underwent surgery the Wednesday after Labor Day, then began 6 weeks of radiation, followed by chemotherapy for almost one year. During this time he also underwent therapy for months to once again learn basic skills such as talking, walking, and feeding himself, skills that he had lost to cancer treatment. But our Joe didn't give up or give in. Within a few months, he not only learned these skills but he was back on the athletic field playing his beloved sports, feeding tubes and chest catheters in place and firmly taped down. He stepped up to embrace the challenge of his illness with tremendous determination and the complete faith that God would be with him every step of the way. His buoyant spirit and hard work allowed him to participate in his First Holy Communion with his St. Peters classmates. I remember vividly how proud he was, and we all were of him, to be able to walk with his class and read one of the petitions. And his strength gave us strength. In October 2001 a routine MRI showed that the cancer had returned and this time the prognosis was much more grave.

Joe loved attending St. Peter's school, his classmates and all the children there. When Joe was in the third grade his teacher was Mrs. Zajac. At the end of the school year she prepared a booklet for each child, which included mementos and a record of activities from the year. Joe's book dutifully recorded that he had learned multiplication and division, but what he really liked about 3rd grade was…lunch, snack and recess. The book included pictures of the major highlights of his year…the first day at school, activities with his buddy, Halloween, muffins for moms, field trip to the capital, field day at St. Peters, all the usual things. Joe also had a letter to his parents asking for an increase in his allowance. Just because he was sick did not mean our Joe didn't have plans!

On the cover of the book Ms. Zajac described each child using the letters of his/her name. The words that she chose to describe Joe seemed to fit so beautifully that we decided that we would share these with you.

JOSEPH

J is for "Jokes Around". How Joe loved to tell jokes! As he was waiting in the hall to go into the operating room before his first surgery he told the surgeon this joke. "How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little "boogey" in it!" Without realizing it, he was helping others at the very time that was so scary for him. In essence, this was the beginning of Joe's ministry.

O is for "Outstanding." There is nothing I can add to that. Joe was Outstanding.

S is for "Strong". Joe's strength of mind and soul was like no other. When we first learn about our faith we are taught to be "Christ-like" and are reminded to think about "what would Jesus do?" Christ spent His first 30 years being a good son and friend, and learning the value of hard work. It was not until the last 3 years of his life that He began to preach the "good news of His Father". Our Joe spent the first 7 years of his life being a good son and friend, learning the value of hard work, and being "Christ-like". The last three years of Joe's life were spent showing us day by day how to live our faith. How often we would follow Joe's lead to take us in the right direction, closer and closer to Our Lord.

E is for "Energetic". Joe's short life was non-stop. As you could see from the pictures here yesterday, he enjoyed life to its fullest. He played baseball, basketball, soccer, and lacrosse, enjoyed scouting, jumping off the lifeguard stand at the beach, and running and playing in the woods like every other boy his age. He was energetic about life itself.

P is for ""Pleasant". It probably should be for "pizza lover", as Joe never met one he didn't like. Joe was one of the sweetest kids you'll ever have the joy to know. He never complained even when he felt horrible. He always thanked people for the smallest act of kindness that they showed him. Among the last words he spoke were "yes please" to his nurse and "thank you" to his parents.

H (and I think my most favorite) is for "Hero to us All". We have heard a lot about heroism lately. A hero is exactly what Joe was. He was one of the bravest people that we will ever know. He lived life fully and joyfully with the difficult hand he was dealt and he faced death with courage, curiosity and an unwavering faith. If Joe had been able to leave notes to his mom, dad, Mary and Ryan, I believe they would read something like this:

Dear Mary,
Thanks for being such a wonderful twin sister. When I couldn't walk, you carried me. You were there for me every step of the way. Be assured that a part of you went to heaven with me.

Dear Ryan,
Thanks for being a great little brother that runs, plays and has fun. I enjoyed watching you from the sidelines. I'll still be cheering for you from a new and wonderful place.

Dear Mom and Dad,
Thank you for the greatest gift of all, my faith. It was your example that started me and kept me on the path to this glorious kingdom of God. You were my lifeline on earth and now I can be yours in heaven. Your devotion to me during my life on earth has earned you many jewels in heaven.

Thanks to all of you from the bottom of my heart.
Love, JOE